Last night I started one of the most intellectual conversations of all time based on something that most humans take for granted: underwear pockets.
Go ahead, take a minute to soak up the complexity.
I had a long conversation with about 3 people who think that my idea makes no sense, but hear me out! Underwear needs pockets. I don’t know how the ladies feel about it because most women are minimalists, which is good. Men love skimpy clothes on you, don’t change that!! However, men are all about utilities. I was sitting on my bed last night in my underwear and I needed my 4th bowl of cereal and I had my phone. No pockets to put it in. What if I had gum and I wanted to take it with me! I like to walk around is boxer briefs and I like to have my breath smelling good. Does this make me weird for wanting the best of both worlds. What if I have loose change and I need to pick something up? Pockets are handy.
Underwear space is wasted for males. The time and energy they put into that weewee flap, that no man with a normal sized penis uses, could be put into making very usable pockets. Has anyone actually inspected this weewee flap? I did last night. Its like a maze! You have to put the penis left first, then slither it to the right as if you’re sneaking up on the toilet. I don’t want to surreptitious about peeing! Plus all that weaving may lead me to pee on the shoes of the guy next to me. Then we fight, and fall in a public restroom. That’s never good.
Making such a case deserves some kind of recognition if you ask me. I should write to all the major distributors about this. Underpockets. That could be where you keep your good shit. That way if you get robbed you have that emergency $20 waiting in your boxers/ boxer briefs/ tighty whiteys.
My idea was not received well by the masses. My friend KC made a note to not take any gum from me and warned me about my ass blowing bubbles. Thanks KC!
The moral of the story is that underwear needs pockets, and I will be on the front line of this battle.
(I’m way too tired to make this elaborate)