So many words. Not enough paper in this world. Don't hurt the trees over me.

No Pocket Love

Last night I started one of the most intellectual conversations of all time based on something that most humans take for granted: underwear pockets.

Go ahead, take a minute to soak up the complexity.

I had a long conversation with about 3 people who think that my idea makes no sense, but hear me out! Underwear needs pockets. I don’t know how the ladies feel about it because most women are minimalists, which is good. Men love skimpy clothes on you, don’t change that!! However, men are all about utilities. I was sitting on my bed last night in my underwear and I needed my 4th bowl of cereal and I had my phone. No pockets to put it in. What if I had gum and I wanted to take it with me! I like to walk around is boxer briefs and I like to have my breath smelling good. Does this make me weird for wanting the best of both worlds. What if I have loose change and I need to pick something up? Pockets are handy.

Underwear space is wasted for males. The time and energy they put into that weewee flap, that no man with a normal sized penis uses, could be put into making very usable pockets. Has anyone actually inspected this weewee flap? I did last night. Its like a maze! You have to put the penis left first, then slither it to the right as if you’re sneaking up on the toilet. I don’t want to surreptitious about peeing! Plus all that weaving may lead me to pee on the shoes of the guy next to me. Then we fight, and fall in a public restroom. That’s never good.

Making such a case deserves some kind of recognition if you ask me. I should write to all the major distributors about this. Underpockets. That could be where you keep your good shit. That way if you get robbed you have that emergency $20 waiting in your boxers/ boxer briefs/ tighty whiteys.

My idea was not received well by the masses. My friend KC made a note to not take any gum from me and warned me about my ass blowing bubbles. Thanks KC!

The moral of the story is that underwear needs pockets, and I will be on the front line of this battle.


(I’m way too tired to make this elaborate)


Comments on: "No Pocket Love" (1)

  1. Yo b this post made my day. After no sleep, and class and work all day starting at 7am, this fuckin made my day. I’m with you on this! Underwear do need pockets!

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