Sadly, there is no 7-Eleven from heaven… yet! But there can be. I just need some support. Right now, I’m craving a slurpee as bad as Mike Tyson craves the ability to articulate. I’m having this conversation with Crystal about it right now and I feel like I should have the opportunity to encourage them to build one closer to my house. So close in fact, that it would be in my closet. All I want is the slurpee section. I have my own cups!!
I want the 7-Eleven people to see this post and take immediate action. This is a travesty! I have no 7-Eleven store within 10 minutes of here. Not even 15! It’s like 20! That’s 20 minutes I don’t have. So dear Mr./Mrs. 7-Eleven, please consider my request for a slurpee-only 7-Eleven built in my closet. As I stated earlier, I do have my own cups. I love your magical deliciousness! Please respond!
Failure to respond may result in me becoming a hillbilly so I may obtain a dusty pickup truck which I will use to drive into, and I don’t mean just the parking lot, I mean into a 7-Eleven where I will load the slurpee machine of excellence into the bed of the truck and drive off without getting caught.
These measures are a last resort, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Thank you.