So many words. Not enough paper in this world. Don't hurt the trees over me.

Random Facts About Me

I feel like in order to get a better reading experience, you need something to get attached to. Think about a book you love. Most likely you get into the mind and emotions of the main character/s which leads you to analyze them and subsequently get attached to them. So to keep my readers interested and let them get to know me a bit more, I’ve decided that random facts about this mofo is just what you need. We begin!

  • My favorite show of all time is Seinfeld. I used to hate this show just from the theme music. I would hear it and change the channel immediately. Now, its practically my life bible. Its everything, something, and nothing at all at the same time. Its me pretty much, in sitcom form. Life!
  • Contrary to popular belief my favorite rapper of all time is not Dylan. Its actually my girlfriend Crystal, or as her friend William calls her Cryz Diesel. My favorite track that she’s rapped to me is subtly titled, “Take Off Yo Boxers Boxers”. Can’t wait until she drops the album!
  • Most times when I’m alone I like to sit down and have conversations with myself in my array of voices. So if you ever see me and I’m an African guy arguing with a Chinese guy arguing over who spilled the pudding and who should have to pick it up, don’t worry, its just me relaxing my mind.
  • In case you haven’t been able to tell already, I am a ninja. I work for a secret order of ninjas. We plan to take over the world one pizza slice at a time. Now that I’ve said that, we’re not so secret anymore. Amen.
  • I got scared shitless (seriously, there was no shit involved) in 1996 by a movie. I was afraid to go into my room…in the day time…for two weeks. And stayed up in fear until my body passed out, every night…for another two weeks. Hi.
  • I’m an inventor. My most famous creation: the word “fucknuggets”. Use wisely.
  • Whenever I sing in the shower its always some high pitched, usually female sung, song. Either that or James Brown. Something about James Brown songs that make me feel empowered. Plus its always fun to sing like him. Movin & groovin. Where’s my cape?
  • I love cars. They were my first love. If I hear a nice exhaust I immediately break away from any conversation and act like a dog who can hear his owner approaching the door. My attention span immediately reduces to that of a grapefruit. One of my life goals is to dry hump a Lamborghini.
  • I think I’m one of the coolest dorks on the planet.
  • The skinnier my jeans are, the more confident I feel in them. My confident pair (yes, Crystal and I really call them that) is the most magical pair of pants known to mankind.
  • I’ve been skateboarding on and off for about 2 years now and I suck! My board looks like I do killer tricks from the beating. Truth is, ollies are probably the only thing I can do on purpose.
  • People always think I’m angry. I personally feel I’m about as angry as a wet roll of .5 ply toilet paper.

So those are some random things about me. I’m not special, I’m just fuckin weird, that’s all. If you see me in the street say hi! I only bite Crystal (ooh baybeh baybeh). Rub my forehead and tell me you follow my blog or my twitter and who knows, I may even give you a dollar. Holler!

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